Stunning Documents Found

Most of us know him as the Knight of the Last Crusade. A Knight who crusaded with his brothers to the Holy Land in the late 12Th century. Where, according to legend, these brothers discovered the legendary Holy Grail, the cup used by Christ at the last supper and which caught his blood at the Crucifixion. This cup then became blessed to give eternal life to all those who drank from it. The brothers guarded the grail for centuries leaving one to guard the grail. He became the famous Knight of the Last Crusade and survived until modern times.

Actual footage of the knight has been captured thanks to Dr. Henry Jones Jr, who prefers to be called Indiana. We apologize for the language difficulties. Apparently this version is intended to be a warning to all Nazis. Shown here in a stunning clip.



Recent discoveries have been made as to the Knight's life previous to this encounter and we make them available to you.

Journal Entry #1 Jan 22, 1184 A.D.

A great quest has been given to me, to guard the sacred cup of Christ, the Holy Grail. I bid farewell to my brothers for the last time in mortality. May I see them again when one more worthy than I take my place as immortal guardian within these sacred walls. I shall never rest in guarding the grail, as the task has befallen to me. I shall serve this cause faithfully and nobly.
-Yours, The Knight

Journal Entry #2 Jan 28, 1184 A.D.

Since coming within these hallowed walls I have had time to reflect and think upon my life. I bear no regrets in my actions with my fellow men. This past week I have spent my time in quiet reading and contemplation. I have begun reading the Holy Word of God, may its light forever guide my actions and calm my solitary soul. My accomodations are modest and must be pleasing to the Lord, as I have shuned all worldly comforts. Praise to the Lord!
-Yours, the Knight

Journal Entry #3 Jan 30th, 1184 A.D.

My mind has been most troubled recently due to the trouble I have found in disposing of my, well my, excrement. For it has befouled my air and reeketh as though ten thousand legions of demons were storming me. I should have spent more energy and time in finding a solution to this problem prior to my coming here, however thanks be to God for giving me all the time I need in finding a solution.
-Yours, the Knight

Journal Entry #12 August 5, 11184 A.D.

Spent the day cleaning excrement as per usual. Also dusted and rearranged the grails in a fashion that will confound any unworthy soul who would desecrate such a relic. Time is passing rather slowly however and I find the Holy Word of God can only capture my attention for so long. Beginning to think maybe I have been given the more difficult task assigned to my brethren. Also beginning to have unkind thoughts toward my eldest brother, perhaps he tricked me into this assignment. I shall repent of my thoughts towards him. Slothful as he is.
-the knight

Journal Entry #25 November 3, 1184 A.D.

more excrement, more dusting, more rearranging, more, oh I mourn for my condition. Have prayed that my slothful elder brother has suffered a tremendous armour rash on his most secret places. Amen
-the knight

Journal Entry #26 November 4, 1184 A.D.

Have broken out in a tremendously irritating armour rash in my most secret places. Damn.

Journal Entry #30, November 20th, 1184 A.D.

Rash continues unabated. Afraid to defile the holy water which comes forth out of the grail by pouring it on my, well, devil's happy sacks. Shall suffer even as Job. decided that perhaps Abel the older brother deserved everything he got. Have since written my own version of the account: [And Cain cried out that his brother was a rotten bastard, and chose in his wroth to slay him. And the angel came down and stood asked him "Where is thy brother?" and Cain answered him saying, "He is a rotten bastard and I have smashed in his villanious face with a bloody great rock" to which the angel replied, "Okay".] Behold the Holy Writ. Amen
-whatever